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Forgive me if some details are TMI, but I LOVE labor/delivery stories, and I want to keep mine forever.
I went in at 7:30am to be induced because the baby was measuring large (7 lbs. 11 ounces at 37 weeks). Once I did the paperwork and was admitted, they administered Cytotec (?) by pill because I was still only at a one (after WEEKS of only being at a one) and barely effaced.
Once that happened, suddenly, low and behold, I started having contractions--long ones. Some were three minutes in length. I felt a lot of intensity at this point, and a fair amount of pain, but held out. During the long contractions, the baby's heart rate would decelerate, so they gave me oxygen in the hope that her heart beat would regulate...it did. I was measured at my next check at a 2.
My water was broken soon after. I didn't remember the constant wet gush when they did so with my first labor, but it kept coming and coming, and I was so frustrated with the feeling of it, combined with increasingly dreadful contractions. I had tears in my eyes when my nurse, Karen (who delivered James), came in, and she asked if I wanted my epidural, which I did. I was only at a 3.5, which discouraged me because I wanted to hold out longer, but the pain was INTENSE.
The epidural hurt this time. I don't remember it hurting with James, but I didn't like the anesthesiologist, so I blame that. I progressed pretty fast...they administered some pitocin only when I stalled out a bit. I went from a 3.5 to a seven at the next check. The epidural made my blood pressure drop to the eighties/forties, so I was given ephedrine (?) via IV. I felt pretty miserable when the blood pressure dropped--that feeling scared me a lot. My contractions were VERY painful yet again, epidural and all, so I asked for it to be checked/boosted.
Five minutes after a new anesthesiologist came in, I felt funny--it wasn't a clear need to push, like I felt with James, but it was stronger than the pressure that had been growing and growing for the last while. Lo and behold, it was time to push--I was complete.
Pushing was harder than I remember it being with James. Karen had left, and another nurse had taken her place. I felt like I kept pushing and pushing and making little progress. The baby was moving, but she would still sneak back up a bit after a push was completed. Eventually, I was told they could see the head, and after trying a few different methods of pushing, we were at the finish line--so I thought. Once the head was out, the "burning ring of fire" of crowning did not go away--it intensified beyond anything I have EVER felt in my life. I couldn't figure out what the problem was. I felt a lot of pushing inside of me with the doctor's hands, and pain, and I wanted to keep pushing, but the pushing was UNBEARABLE--yet, I didn't want to stop because I wanted the baby OUT. It turns out her shoulders got stuck in my pelvis (shoulder dystocia), and the doctor had to shift my pelvic area and corkscrew the baby out in order to deliver her vaginally.
9 lbs., 8.2 ounces, and 20 inches long--my lovely was finally here. I think they showed her to me, but I can't remember if they placed her on my chest right away because they had to place her over to the warmer to give her oxygen after the delivery. I think I was still in shock because of the pain and not understanding what had happened. I did not get an episiotomy--I tore, but it wasn't as bad as the episiotomy I had with James, thank goodness. Her delivery, to me, was a miracle because it didn't end in surgery.
I wanted to breastfeed--so badly--because I couldn't with James. I tried to nurse the baby shortly after birth. There were some tugs, but she wasn't latching due to flatness on the part of the mama, so it wasn't a riproaring success. Because she was large, apparently that can lead to a tendency for a baby to have hypoglycemia (low blood sugar), so they supplemented with formula, and when you take a baby who can have a quick meal or barely anything (and hard work at that!) from Mommy, needless to say, she loved her formula. We've changed formula a few times with her due to gassiness and fussiness, but she's going to be a formula baby.
It's hard for me to accept in some ways. I bought all the books, all the products, in order to nurse. I thought I could do both--nurse and supplement, but it makes her unhappy, gassy, and fussy. Most of my experience during those few days was not the most positive, but there were a few feedings where I felt SUCH a connection with my new baby. The first morning with her, she and I sat in my bed while Josh slept, with her gently nursing away, both of us dozing in and out, for three hours. It was sheer and utter bliss. That night, she happened to be able to latch well (not our strong suit), and knowing I could feed and satisfy her, and that she wanted the closeness, was such a boost to my spirits. It hurts to know it's not going to work out to continue--she HAS to have formula, and that is also what she wants, but I will cherish those few moments with her at my breast. My heart ACHES to have those back, but we'll have closeness in other ways.
