On Minimalism

Lately, I have been reading a lot of blogs and essays concerning the subject of minimalism.  I'm not talking about the literary or artistic movements, nor am I talking about the home decor trend of everything stark black and white and barely there.  I'm talking about living a minimalistic lifestyle--rejecting, even rebelling against, consumerism, getting rid of unwanted and unused items, getting out of debt, pursuing passions and life goals over material goods, etc.
This lifestyle appeals to me, even though it is the complete antithesis of my life a few years ago.  I think it attracts me because it *is* the polar opposite of my former dreams and goals, and those goals, the need to possess lots of (and the best) stuff have wreaked havoc on my life, my health, and my sanity.  Being able to focus more on living a self-reliant lifestyle, having less "things" to worry about, being able to say "NO!" loudly and firmly to the trappings of consumerism, will all lead to my ability to pursue my dreams and my passions that truly matter--and what a more fulfilled life that will be, not only for me, but for my family as well. 
I want to be able to have a firmer resolve, to spend less, to give more, to share my time and abilities with others, to reject jealousy, to conquer my goals and chase after my heart's truest desires.  I want to choose to tromp around outside in this big, wide world when I need comfort, instead of going up to the mall to snag some little thing that provides me temporary happiness--only until I get it home.  Can you imagine being able to live a life where you mainly rely on yourself and your family, instead of what society or friends tell you is important?  Can you imagine being able to live without a mall or Walmart?  Can you envision being able to grow your own food, or make your own, most of the time, or to find outlets for the freshest food you can, instead of relying on processed convenience foods?  That makes my body happy just thinking about it.
This kind of life is possible, with a true desire and conversion to a philosophy of minimalism and self-reliance.  It's better for your family, the environment, and for you.  And I want to examine it more closely and pursue the changes necessary to obtain it. 

Little of This, Little of That...

A lot of random thoughts are brewing today...we'll see where they take me.
Animals.  I've had animals on the brain a lot of late.  We still have our foster kitty, renamed Sunflower (or Sunny, for short).  I renamed her something more positive than Crybaby was, and I swear her personality has brightened under the name change.  She has a propensity for searching out sunbeams and laying in their path, and since I call her "my little sunflower," she started answering to that, and it stuck.  We've dealt with a few minor health issues along the way, but she is adjusting quite well to our family.  Even the dog plays well with her (most of the time).
As I've mentioned, I volunteer at a local animal shelter.  Our main mission is to save as many lives as we can, so we can match adoptable animals to potential forever homes.  However, as with anything in life, there is occasional loss.  During my shift yesterday, I spent some time helping with some sick kittens in our kitten nursery.  Our shelter director was called out on an emergency, and we were unable to euthanize a very ill kitten, and a volunteer was holding it and attempting to comfort it as much as she could.  I felt compelled to take a turn with the kitten.  I wasn't sure why, but it made my heart ache, so I took over the duties with this little kitten.  It was not easy.  The kitten was in respiratory distress and suffocating on fluid.  I held it in a blanket, as close to my chest as possible, up against my heart, as I caressed its fur, tiny head, and ears, and attempted to make it as comfortable as possible.  It passed away snuggled against my breast.  I spent a lot of the evening angry--angry at pet owners who refuse to care for their animals, who don't spay and neuter--and I tried to figure out why it was so important to take a turn with this kitten.  It dawned on me.  As hard as it was, it was easier to give something of myself, even if a little, than to walk away.  It made me sick to think that the kitten was there, and I had to give something.  It would have hurt more to walk away.  I have dealt with dying animals before, but this one affected me so much more. It was one of the most difficult and yet moving experiences of my life.

On to more positive subjects.  Lately, due to some questions I have about things, life, and whatnot, I have been investigating alternative means to peace and health in my life.  We have been eating healthier foods, less meat, and less dairy.  I have been doing extensive research into natural remedies, homeopathy, herbal cures, etc. for minor health concerns.  When my church stopped funding for our counseling sessions, I started looking for different ways to reflect, meditate, and to find peace in our lives.  We have been spending more time outside, taking in the natural world around us.  I also experienced my first reiki treatment.  (A good source for information on reiki can be found here.)  I am blessed to have a friend who provided this service to me.  It was a wonderful time for me to reflect and to ponder about my goals, my concerns, and so forth.  I had this image that I was shedding this skin of negativity as I listened to the music in the background.  When the session was finished, my friend asked me a lot of questions about my life that were spot on--she noted that I am often too hard on myself and that I have my expectations too high when it comes to where I feel I should be, and she said that she felt the need to express to me to work toward balance and being fair and kind to myself.  She also noted that my healing colors were purple and green, which I have found myself drawn to of late before my session.  It was a great experience, and I'm not sure I have ever so deeply meditated in my life.  My friend also shares a similar religious background and understood where I was coming from when I expressed a weakness in my testimony lately, and was so willing to listen to how I felt, while supporting me in my questions and needs, as well as my desire to reconnect to my spiritual foundations while staying true to myself and my heart and what I feel is right.
So, what else have we been into?  I've been enjoying the summer spending time with my family before I go back to the grind of teaching.  We've been playing a lot in sand, and in water, reading stories together and watching movies.  I admit to a growing frustration with my teething infant's lack of desire when it comes to sleeping, but we're managing.  I'm preparing for a course redesign this semester, mandated by my department--I, along with two other adjuncts, will be testing out a new design for our freshman composition courses, and in some ways, I'm grateful because I felt I was starting to develop a rut when it came to my teaching/curriculum.  The hubby received his HAM radio license, and I've enjoyed seeing him get so excited about this new hobby in his life.  It especially proved valuable as a radio service during a massive storm in the area which did extensive damage to the region and has left tens of thousands without power (called a "super derecho," a violent and destructive wind and thunderstorm that was in a arc shape that spanned several states).  The radio enabled us to stay connected to weather service updates during moments of unreliable power, as well as emergency updates, thanks to diligent amateur radio broadcasters.  The storm was so bad that it took the neighbors' staked, full sized trampoline out of the ground, down the hill through our driveway (and over our car--sigh), and across our street into the next neighbors' yard.  (Our car is OK--nothing a trip to the body shop won't fix.  I will show a pic of the trampoline's landing spot.)
Well, that's about everything that I can think of.  Now, if you'll excuse me, this sleep-deprived mama is going to search for rest.  Good night.  (Also, planning on getting back into our "What We Store" series soon.  Keep an eye out.)

BTW, we need to mow our lawn.

UPDATED: Meet Crybaby....

So, I've been trying to plan activities for the children as we can--we've visited farms, picked berries, have gone for walks, etc.  Last Friday, we planned on having an "Art Day," basically a day of fingerpaints and markers and messes, because it was supposed to be stormy and nasty outside.
Yeaaaaah, instead we went to the animal shelter where I volunteer and brought home a cat to foster, named Crybaby.
Crybaby's former owners had her for five years, but are relocating and cannot take her with them.  They didn't want her to have to stay in the shelter, so the shelter asked for a volunteer to foster her until she finds her forever home.  And my allergies and I volunteered for the job.

I am not going to mince words, nor am I going to hide the bad moments. But, I am also going to share all of the positive experiences. Why? Because that is what animal fostering (or ownership) is all about. I had this image of being "The Cat Whisperer" or something. Even though I knew better, even I still had that thought in my head. It hasn't been easy--my allergies are haywire, kitty does not like the children yet, there's litter all over the place, she peed outside of Goob's door (OK, I found that funny...it wasn't much, and pet messes don't scare me....I thought she had him "marked" for some impending doom for harassing her), and she hides much of the time, and hisses more than I like. But, in those moments where I think "What the heck did I get myself into?", that is when she climbs on my lap, gets up on my shoulder, peeks out of hiding even when the kids are around, purrs like mad, nuzzles us constantly--those are the moments when you think, "Maybe I'm doing this right sometimes." Having an animal in your home, any animal, isn't easy. I'm still not sure with our allergies that we could keep her permanently, but this experience is going to be a blessing for our family, whether she is here a few days, a few months, or whatever. I have to have patience (and a LOT of Claritin...that is my biggest worry...allergies).  Crybaby is a sweetheart, and for now, she is ours and a member of our family.
UPDATE: So, Crybaby's first owners lied about the record of her preventative vet care, and it turns out she had some underlying urinary issues.  After peeing blood all over my house and chasing down the shelter vet on a few occasions, we returned her to the shelter because we couldn't keep up with her medical issues, only to feel guilty and bring her back home.  She is now, per doc's orders, crated when not supervised, and on meds twice a day until we know for sure how she is doing.  I knew by the amount of sobbing I was doing when we took her back that I needed her back home.  I am not convinced she is a good fit for us as a forever home, seeing as she does bite, but she is with us for now, and I love this kitty to pieces.

Getting Back on Track

I feel like my priorities have been out of order lately. I have all of these goals and ambitions, and yet, I've been giving in too much to the need to spend money, or to choose laziness over productivity, or choosing to focus on the negative instead of the positive. I'm also struggling with knowing which priorities to place ahead of others.
This is what I know I need to do:
-I need to show more love, patience, compassion, and affection toward my husband and my children, and strive to spend as much quality time with them as possible.
-I need to work to become more self-reliant, more prepared for emergencies, and more able to serve and protect my family in the event of a crisis--whether it is big or small. I caught a potholder on fire in my oven the other day, and my means of taking "control" of the situation was to yell for my husband, instead of dealing with it on my own. That's not good.
-I need to strive to spend less needless money, to learn to take care of what we have, mend what needs repaired, and focus on making do instead of giving into the urge to accumulate more, more, more. I also need to work harder on putting as much as we can onto debt and into savings.
-We need to take better care of ourselves physically--eat healthier, spend more time exercising, learn to discern what foods are good for our bodies, and what foods aren't (as I type this, my four year old is laying on the floor watching game shows and eating a cup of jelly beans, so this is definitely a work in progress).
-I need to spend more time taking care of our home--cleaning, organizing, getting rid of items we don't need, and so forth. I would like to work toward a more minimalist lifestyle, but that too will take time.
-I need to work harder on staying on top of my work outside of the home. My heart hasn't been into my teaching as much this term, mainly due to illness, and I need to rededicate myself to re-examining my teaching philosophy and giving my curriculum a much needed makeover.
-I need to be more charitable. I am working to spend more time volunteering at the animal shelter, but there is still more that I can do and give. It helps me to count my blessings when I am working to help those in need.
These all are works in progress, and they will all take time and balance. However, I need to refocus my efforts and get back on track in targeting and accomplishing my goals.

Thoughts on an Easter Sunday

I have two quick experiences/reflections running through my head today I want to share:
First, I spent about an hour of my Easter morning volunteering at our local animal shelter. I have been smitten with this shaggy, partially deaf and blind, little dog, who admittedly looks a little worse for the wear. He seems to be an older fellow, and he was found wandering through a busy part of town when he was brought into the shelter. I wanted to specifically spend some time with him; that was my "catch" if my time was needed on Easter morning--that I got to play with this little guy. As I felt his matted, scabby coat, looked into his cloudy, blinded eyes, I felt so sad for him--how could someone cast him out like that? Such a sweet little guy, roaming our town in such shape, because someone was cruel and uncaring. It really bothered me as he and I walked, as I stroked his fur, and on the way home. But, then I found solace...he, along with so many others, is the reason why the no-kill philosophy needs to be adopted everywhere. What would another shelter have done? More than likely, they would have taken one look at him and euthanized him. He would have been deemed "unadoptable," and that would have been the end of it. I know that. And it is the no-kill concept that enabled me to scratch his ears and his back, to give him love and time, to ache for his need for a home--without it, I more than likely would never have known this wonderful boy that I have nicknamed Sam.

(Sam. If I could have him/provide him what he needs, I would take him in an instant. Pic by my friend, Peter.)

Second, and I prefer to keep the where and the who confidential, I found myself feeling like a heel today. I take a lot of pride in finding nice clothes for reasonable prices for my children. I like it when they look nice. I love buying them gifts, and presents, and relishing the holidays with them. But, I had an experience where I realized not all children are so blessed to have these small things--an Easter dress, or a basket, or chocolate, and the thing is--these kids aren't some news story--they are around us, they live here, they share our spaces. Here I was, priding myself that each of my kids had two Easter outfits, like some spoiled mother, and I saw children who more than likely saw today as just another day. I focus so much on what my kids have, and do, and wear, and there are so many kids who lack these things, who lack special little treats, or knowing they are loved, or who don't have parents who care about their basic needs. And I was so worried about whether or not my baby's Easter dresses were dressy enough? Or whether my son's basket had "enough" in it? These kids in need aren't some sad story on a commercial--they are HERE. The question is, how do we change our own mentality, and how do we help them?

Reinventing Myself

I have this desire to be something better, to make more of myself, my family, my opportunities, our home. It's often overwhelming because this desire is so powerful, so strong, so encompassing, but I also acknowledge to myself that, however worthwhile and good my intentions are, no one can completely change their lives in one day, nor can anyone achieve perfection, no matter how much it is wanted.
I want to be steadfast and more determined in our goals to eliminate consumer debt from our lives, which means a stronger budget, less frivolous spending, and a concrete gameplan in order to do so.
I want to develop a lifestyle of simplicity and self-reliance. I want to waste less, to work on emergency preparedness, to obtain and maintain both a short term and long term food storage, to learn how to can, dehydrate, and preserve fresh foods. I want to learn how to make our possessions last longer, to create more handmade gifts, to minimize clutter and materialism from our lives.
I strive to be a better wife and mother, to be more patient, thoughtful, compassionate. I want to focus on putting their needs before my own. I need to show more affection and love.
I want to be an insightful, caring teacher. I want to be more productive, to place more effort into my lectures and my grading.
I desperately want a cleaner, more organized home. I long for a better cleaning routine, increased productivity.
I want to be in better shape. I want my body to feel better, to be stronger and more fit, and to live a healthier lifestyle.
I feel a need to be more charitable, more giving, more selfless and willing to share my time and resources with those in need.
I'm sure you understand why and how I am feeling overwhelmed. If only I knew how to maintain these goals while not becoming completely burned out and frazzled in the process....