I have found myself thinking about "dreams" lately. Not the kind where we fly or our teeth fall out or we end up at school naked, but dream cars, vacations, houses, basically dream "stuff." A lot of people I know who are close to my age are pursuing these things, and as I approach age 30, I think, "Am I doing something wrong that I just don't care about these things? Is it wrong to be content with four people in a one thousand square foot home? Is there something wrong with wanting backyard chickens instead of a dream house?"
The thing is--I pursued my dreams once. I ended up thousands of dollars in debt, a pit I am still trying to climb out of. I lost my sense of gratitude, humility, and practicality. I still lose sleep over wondering how we are to pay our bills, even though we should be living comfortably on our income.
Do we have to reach these "dreams" by the time we are 30? What happened to saving them for when the children are grown, and we can hopefully pay for them in cash?
I have several dream cars...I love cars...and the thing is, I doubt I would ever buy them, even if I was wealthy? Why? Because part of the fun is the dream. When you want to have the best of everything, what else is left to live for? I'd rather have practical, functional stuff I can pay for than all of my dreams fulfilled before my life is even halfway through.
Wanna know what my dreams are? I want to have land when the kids are grown...either an old farm house to restore, or a one level, modest, new construction. I want to be able to raise my own animals for food, to grow my own produce, and to be able to enjoy the country life. I want to go to England, France, Italy, Greece, and Ireland (my mother land, as I call it). Hubby wants a "project car," an old, beat up luxury car or sports car to restore and sell. Those are our dreams. Someday, I hope we can achieve them. And hopefully can do so while breathing easy financially.
Until then, we can wait.
Showing posts with label finances. Show all posts
Showing posts with label finances. Show all posts
Sunday, October 7, 2012
Monday, August 27, 2012
On Minimalism
Lately, I have been reading a lot of blogs and essays concerning the subject of minimalism. I'm not talking about the literary or artistic movements, nor am I talking about the home decor trend of everything stark black and white and barely there. I'm talking about living a minimalistic lifestyle--rejecting, even rebelling against, consumerism, getting rid of unwanted and unused items, getting out of debt, pursuing passions and life goals over material goods, etc.
This lifestyle appeals to me, even though it is the complete antithesis of my life a few years ago. I think it attracts me because it *is* the polar opposite of my former dreams and goals, and those goals, the need to possess lots of (and the best) stuff have wreaked havoc on my life, my health, and my sanity. Being able to focus more on living a self-reliant lifestyle, having less "things" to worry about, being able to say "NO!" loudly and firmly to the trappings of consumerism, will all lead to my ability to pursue my dreams and my passions that truly matter--and what a more fulfilled life that will be, not only for me, but for my family as well.
I want to be able to have a firmer resolve, to spend less, to give more, to share my time and abilities with others, to reject jealousy, to conquer my goals and chase after my heart's truest desires. I want to choose to tromp around outside in this big, wide world when I need comfort, instead of going up to the mall to snag some little thing that provides me temporary happiness--only until I get it home. Can you imagine being able to live a life where you mainly rely on yourself and your family, instead of what society or friends tell you is important? Can you imagine being able to live without a mall or Walmart? Can you envision being able to grow your own food, or make your own, most of the time, or to find outlets for the freshest food you can, instead of relying on processed convenience foods? That makes my body happy just thinking about it.
This kind of life is possible, with a true desire and conversion to a philosophy of minimalism and self-reliance. It's better for your family, the environment, and for you. And I want to examine it more closely and pursue the changes necessary to obtain it.
This lifestyle appeals to me, even though it is the complete antithesis of my life a few years ago. I think it attracts me because it *is* the polar opposite of my former dreams and goals, and those goals, the need to possess lots of (and the best) stuff have wreaked havoc on my life, my health, and my sanity. Being able to focus more on living a self-reliant lifestyle, having less "things" to worry about, being able to say "NO!" loudly and firmly to the trappings of consumerism, will all lead to my ability to pursue my dreams and my passions that truly matter--and what a more fulfilled life that will be, not only for me, but for my family as well.
I want to be able to have a firmer resolve, to spend less, to give more, to share my time and abilities with others, to reject jealousy, to conquer my goals and chase after my heart's truest desires. I want to choose to tromp around outside in this big, wide world when I need comfort, instead of going up to the mall to snag some little thing that provides me temporary happiness--only until I get it home. Can you imagine being able to live a life where you mainly rely on yourself and your family, instead of what society or friends tell you is important? Can you imagine being able to live without a mall or Walmart? Can you envision being able to grow your own food, or make your own, most of the time, or to find outlets for the freshest food you can, instead of relying on processed convenience foods? That makes my body happy just thinking about it.
This kind of life is possible, with a true desire and conversion to a philosophy of minimalism and self-reliance. It's better for your family, the environment, and for you. And I want to examine it more closely and pursue the changes necessary to obtain it.
Thursday, August 23, 2012
I'm SO There....
If you live in the Mid-Atlantic states, you should consider going to the Mother Earth News Fair in Seven Springs, Pa. It is a HUGE event chock-full of vendors and exhibits encouraging self-reliance, a DIY attitude, organic and natural living, emergency preparedness, and so forth. Plus, they will have amazing speakers, like Joel Salatin and the beyond inspiring Temple Grandin, animal rights activist and spokesperson for autism awareness (she is autistic herself). (I linked the miniseries based on her life.) I'm not able to make the fair on the day she is speaking, but if I did, I'm pretty sure I'd pass out at her feet from the exposure to sheer awesomeness and inspiration. :) There will be kids' activities, too, and loads of yummy, healthy food vendors and products for sale.
The fair page can be found here.
The fair page can be found here.
Tuesday, April 3, 2012
But I Want to Do It All!
I've been having a battle with myself for the last few weeks. Here are some excerpts from the arguments:
-I am going to get the house completely clean in the next few weeks! I am motivated to fulfill this goal, and I want to have an organized, clutter-less home that we can have as a sanctuary from the everyday world. But I want a nap! Oh, I so need a nap! I am never, ever going to get this done. There have been nine hampers of laundry sitting in my living room for days on end. Days! Everyone else can manage to keep THEIR houses clean. Why can't I? If I was a better wife and mother, I could do this, but I can't, and I'm not.
-I resolve to be more patient and loving toward my children. I want to spend more quality time with them and be the mother that they deserve. I will not lose my temper, and will keep my frustrations in check. Oh. My. Freaking. Goodness. HOW many more slats can a four year old tear out of my mini-blinds? Whaaaaaaat? ANOTHER one?? WHY does he have to hide things all over my house? If I see another Hot Wheels car or Lego out of place, I will LOSE. MY. MIND. And WHY WON'T THE BABY NAP?? AAAARRRGGGHHH. Look at this mom beside me at Story Time. SHE has it all together. Her kids are so good, and so calm, and she is just great with her children. Why can't I be like THAT?
-I am going to be a Survival Mom. I am going to have my family prepared in the event of an emergency. We will have a food storage, and 72 hours kits. I want to learn to sew, and make my own bread, and grind and mill my own flour. I will feed my family healthier foods, and we will be more environmentally conscious, and I will be productive and tackle every problem that comes our way with grace, confidence, and fortitude. ANNNNNNTS. We have ants. And I pretty much have let the ladybugs take over our home. Consider this the end of the world as I know it. If we had to live off of our food storage longer than a few months, we'd starve. I don't know what to do with all of this wheat. What happens if my kids, like, randomly lose a limb while playing? What would I do then? Do I know first aid? I don't know first aid. That does it. We're going to die. And I'm pretty sure our neighbor is ape-poop crazy after that argument she just started with us for no reason. I'm now creeped out. And WHY DOESN'T MY FOOD STORAGE LOOK LIKE THAT ONE DOES? They have everything. That person is so prepared.
-I will be more self-reliant. I will not spend money frivolously. I will pay my bills on time, catch up the past due ones, and get out of debt. I will not make stupid financial decisions. I will be smart with my money. I will never splurge. We will have a savings on hand in emergencies, and this will happen soon. Will this debt never end? Ohhh, another bill past due. I'm such a failure. Credit score? Ha! Can a score be negative 'cause I'm pretty sure mine is. I'm on a first name basis with bill collectors. Ugh. Another medical bill. I want to eat out. Oh, I just ate out. I'm a financial failure. Why do I spend so much money all the time? Why does it not get better?
-I will be a loving, compassionate wife to my husband. I will be more productive, work to take better care of myself, and become a better lover. I will be on the top of my game at all times, and be happy for him, and not burden him. You want me to do WHAT? I am NOT doing THAT right now, thankyouverymuch. I am too busy. Oh, I have been sick for weeks. I need to sleep so much more these days. I bet he hates me. He probably doesn't believe me. My libido is so low, and I am failing him. I want to be with him, but feel dreadful. What's wrong with me? But, like HECK I am sleeping with him. Puh-lease. I am too, too tired, and I feel like crap. He can do the dishes for me. I just can't do it all.
This is the discussion that runs through my head on a nearly daily basis. I think it does for all of us at some point in our lives or another--the desire to do it all, but the inability to do so because of too many goals, sickness, circumstances beyond our control. It's a balance--learning to improve ourselves while allowing ourselves to be human and make mistakes. I just wish I knew how to strike that balance sometimes. Hopefully, someday, I'll figure it out. Add it to the list, I suppose.
-I am going to get the house completely clean in the next few weeks! I am motivated to fulfill this goal, and I want to have an organized, clutter-less home that we can have as a sanctuary from the everyday world. But I want a nap! Oh, I so need a nap! I am never, ever going to get this done. There have been nine hampers of laundry sitting in my living room for days on end. Days! Everyone else can manage to keep THEIR houses clean. Why can't I? If I was a better wife and mother, I could do this, but I can't, and I'm not.
-I resolve to be more patient and loving toward my children. I want to spend more quality time with them and be the mother that they deserve. I will not lose my temper, and will keep my frustrations in check. Oh. My. Freaking. Goodness. HOW many more slats can a four year old tear out of my mini-blinds? Whaaaaaaat? ANOTHER one?? WHY does he have to hide things all over my house? If I see another Hot Wheels car or Lego out of place, I will LOSE. MY. MIND. And WHY WON'T THE BABY NAP?? AAAARRRGGGHHH. Look at this mom beside me at Story Time. SHE has it all together. Her kids are so good, and so calm, and she is just great with her children. Why can't I be like THAT?
-I am going to be a Survival Mom. I am going to have my family prepared in the event of an emergency. We will have a food storage, and 72 hours kits. I want to learn to sew, and make my own bread, and grind and mill my own flour. I will feed my family healthier foods, and we will be more environmentally conscious, and I will be productive and tackle every problem that comes our way with grace, confidence, and fortitude. ANNNNNNTS. We have ants. And I pretty much have let the ladybugs take over our home. Consider this the end of the world as I know it. If we had to live off of our food storage longer than a few months, we'd starve. I don't know what to do with all of this wheat. What happens if my kids, like, randomly lose a limb while playing? What would I do then? Do I know first aid? I don't know first aid. That does it. We're going to die. And I'm pretty sure our neighbor is ape-poop crazy after that argument she just started with us for no reason. I'm now creeped out. And WHY DOESN'T MY FOOD STORAGE LOOK LIKE THAT ONE DOES? They have everything. That person is so prepared.
-I will be more self-reliant. I will not spend money frivolously. I will pay my bills on time, catch up the past due ones, and get out of debt. I will not make stupid financial decisions. I will be smart with my money. I will never splurge. We will have a savings on hand in emergencies, and this will happen soon. Will this debt never end? Ohhh, another bill past due. I'm such a failure. Credit score? Ha! Can a score be negative 'cause I'm pretty sure mine is. I'm on a first name basis with bill collectors. Ugh. Another medical bill. I want to eat out. Oh, I just ate out. I'm a financial failure. Why do I spend so much money all the time? Why does it not get better?
-I will be a loving, compassionate wife to my husband. I will be more productive, work to take better care of myself, and become a better lover. I will be on the top of my game at all times, and be happy for him, and not burden him. You want me to do WHAT? I am NOT doing THAT right now, thankyouverymuch. I am too busy. Oh, I have been sick for weeks. I need to sleep so much more these days. I bet he hates me. He probably doesn't believe me. My libido is so low, and I am failing him. I want to be with him, but feel dreadful. What's wrong with me? But, like HECK I am sleeping with him. Puh-lease. I am too, too tired, and I feel like crap. He can do the dishes for me. I just can't do it all.
This is the discussion that runs through my head on a nearly daily basis. I think it does for all of us at some point in our lives or another--the desire to do it all, but the inability to do so because of too many goals, sickness, circumstances beyond our control. It's a balance--learning to improve ourselves while allowing ourselves to be human and make mistakes. I just wish I knew how to strike that balance sometimes. Hopefully, someday, I'll figure it out. Add it to the list, I suppose.
Friday, March 9, 2012
Reinventing Myself
I have this desire to be something better, to make more of myself, my family, my opportunities, our home. It's often overwhelming because this desire is so powerful, so strong, so encompassing, but I also acknowledge to myself that, however worthwhile and good my intentions are, no one can completely change their lives in one day, nor can anyone achieve perfection, no matter how much it is wanted.
I want to be steadfast and more determined in our goals to eliminate consumer debt from our lives, which means a stronger budget, less frivolous spending, and a concrete gameplan in order to do so.
I want to develop a lifestyle of simplicity and self-reliance. I want to waste less, to work on emergency preparedness, to obtain and maintain both a short term and long term food storage, to learn how to can, dehydrate, and preserve fresh foods. I want to learn how to make our possessions last longer, to create more handmade gifts, to minimize clutter and materialism from our lives.
I strive to be a better wife and mother, to be more patient, thoughtful, compassionate. I want to focus on putting their needs before my own. I need to show more affection and love.
I want to be an insightful, caring teacher. I want to be more productive, to place more effort into my lectures and my grading.
I desperately want a cleaner, more organized home. I long for a better cleaning routine, increased productivity.
I want to be in better shape. I want my body to feel better, to be stronger and more fit, and to live a healthier lifestyle.
I feel a need to be more charitable, more giving, more selfless and willing to share my time and resources with those in need.
I'm sure you understand why and how I am feeling overwhelmed. If only I knew how to maintain these goals while not becoming completely burned out and frazzled in the process....
I want to be steadfast and more determined in our goals to eliminate consumer debt from our lives, which means a stronger budget, less frivolous spending, and a concrete gameplan in order to do so.
I want to develop a lifestyle of simplicity and self-reliance. I want to waste less, to work on emergency preparedness, to obtain and maintain both a short term and long term food storage, to learn how to can, dehydrate, and preserve fresh foods. I want to learn how to make our possessions last longer, to create more handmade gifts, to minimize clutter and materialism from our lives.
I strive to be a better wife and mother, to be more patient, thoughtful, compassionate. I want to focus on putting their needs before my own. I need to show more affection and love.
I want to be an insightful, caring teacher. I want to be more productive, to place more effort into my lectures and my grading.
I desperately want a cleaner, more organized home. I long for a better cleaning routine, increased productivity.
I want to be in better shape. I want my body to feel better, to be stronger and more fit, and to live a healthier lifestyle.
I feel a need to be more charitable, more giving, more selfless and willing to share my time and resources with those in need.
I'm sure you understand why and how I am feeling overwhelmed. If only I knew how to maintain these goals while not becoming completely burned out and frazzled in the process....
Monday, February 27, 2012
Progress
At the start of this year, we had five open credit cards. We plan on keeping two open (for now). One has a zero balance, and the other is maxed out, but has a low interest rate and is backed by our local credit union. The other three were burdens on our family, nicknamed "The Big Three" by the hubby and me. We have managed to negotiate the interest rate on one of the cards (which dropped it 20%), and today, on one of "The Big Three," we have managed to settle our account, pay less than what the balance was, and are officially paid off on that card. You see all of these companies on TV telling you to pay them big $$$ to settle your debts for you. I simply called this credit card company, told them what we were dealing with, and asked for a debt settlement on the card, knowing that it would hit my already abysmal credit, and they happily accepted and reduced the balance by $600. Normally, I would be opposed to paying less than what I owed out of ethics and principle, but we have been paying more than the minimum payment on this card for years now, and the balance never seems to drop, so I felt I was getting rooked, and quite honestly, didn't mind the idea of screwing them back a bit.
But, at the end of the day, I took matters into my own hands, bit the bullet, put on my big girl panties, and now officially have one of "The Big Three" paid in full (and also, all of those three cards are closed, as well).
If you know me at all, you have an idea how tremendous this is for me right now. :)
But, at the end of the day, I took matters into my own hands, bit the bullet, put on my big girl panties, and now officially have one of "The Big Three" paid in full (and also, all of those three cards are closed, as well).
If you know me at all, you have an idea how tremendous this is for me right now. :)
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
Simplify, Simplify....
I desperately want to simplify my life.
And you know what? When you have debt, are behind on bills, have little children, or are balancing managing a household with a part-time job...well, it's so very difficult.
We all have wants and needs, and sometimes, those can dominate our lives. I need our family to be out of consumer debt. We need to catch up on some bills that we are behind on. I want to have a more organized home and daily life. I want to learn new skills and talents that will enhance our home life. I need to work on being a better mother. I want to make more money to help our little family conquer financial goals. I want to start a small business. I need to do more activities and projects with my children. I want to improve my cooking abilities. I need to work on increasing my children's educational opportunities. I need to work on my relationship with my husband. I need more time with him. I want to build upon our food storage. I want to learn a new routine when it comes to keeping my home clean and maintained. I need to learn to live a frugal life.
Yeah, see what I mean?
It's so hard to simplify when wants and needs get into the way, and when they ALL have merit and good intentions. My wants and needs are so intertwined.
Any idea how to strike a balance between accomplishing goals and learning how to simplify life?
And you know what? When you have debt, are behind on bills, have little children, or are balancing managing a household with a part-time job...well, it's so very difficult.
We all have wants and needs, and sometimes, those can dominate our lives. I need our family to be out of consumer debt. We need to catch up on some bills that we are behind on. I want to have a more organized home and daily life. I want to learn new skills and talents that will enhance our home life. I need to work on being a better mother. I want to make more money to help our little family conquer financial goals. I want to start a small business. I need to do more activities and projects with my children. I want to improve my cooking abilities. I need to work on increasing my children's educational opportunities. I need to work on my relationship with my husband. I need more time with him. I want to build upon our food storage. I want to learn a new routine when it comes to keeping my home clean and maintained. I need to learn to live a frugal life.
Yeah, see what I mean?
It's so hard to simplify when wants and needs get into the way, and when they ALL have merit and good intentions. My wants and needs are so intertwined.
Any idea how to strike a balance between accomplishing goals and learning how to simplify life?
Monday, January 30, 2012
A Big Decision
Lately, as you're aware, I have been stressed out concerning the state of our finances, and about losing one of my classes/half my pay due to low enrollment (see previous post).
When I first heard the news about my canceled class, I was despondent, and I was also dead set on finding a full-time job. The income, according to my rationale at that point, would skyrocket us out of debt and afford our family opportunities to grow as a result. I was going to sit down and start putting in my resume and CV ASAP.
But it didn't feel good.
NOTHING felt good.
I was more lost than ever. A full-time job was the answer I was looking for, right? I mean, I had a very strong assurance that our financial goals were something we are meant to tackle this year, so when the class was canceled, I assumed that meant for me to look for something better. And seeing as my part time teaching pay is as much as a minimum wage full-time job, I thought this magical door to a higher paying full-time job would appear before me, and all would be right in the world.
It just never felt good. It never felt right.
So, what feels good?
The decision to stay home with my children and work part time teaching as I do now, when hubby is able to be home with the children in the evenings. Also, I felt very strongly to pursue a business idea I have been toying with for a while that would also allow me to set my own schedule and pay rate, though by no means making a high-powered career salary.
This is the only thing that sounds good to me. The only thing that feels right.
So, needless to say, I am terrified. This means a lot of scraping by, a lot of sacrifice, a lot of worries, a lot of frugality, and concurrently raising my children/maintaining a home/teaching part-time/starting a small business. But this feels so right, and I'm motivated to see it through. Fears and all, I know that the right thing for me at this time is to spend most of my time with my children, making our home and family the main priority. It's not the right decision for everyone, and I'm still very envious of full-time working mamas, but it just doesn't feel right for our family at the moment. I am trusting that we will be able to work through this period of transition for our family, while fulfilling our goals, and making our family our top priority.
When I first heard the news about my canceled class, I was despondent, and I was also dead set on finding a full-time job. The income, according to my rationale at that point, would skyrocket us out of debt and afford our family opportunities to grow as a result. I was going to sit down and start putting in my resume and CV ASAP.
But it didn't feel good.
NOTHING felt good.
I was more lost than ever. A full-time job was the answer I was looking for, right? I mean, I had a very strong assurance that our financial goals were something we are meant to tackle this year, so when the class was canceled, I assumed that meant for me to look for something better. And seeing as my part time teaching pay is as much as a minimum wage full-time job, I thought this magical door to a higher paying full-time job would appear before me, and all would be right in the world.
It just never felt good. It never felt right.
So, what feels good?
The decision to stay home with my children and work part time teaching as I do now, when hubby is able to be home with the children in the evenings. Also, I felt very strongly to pursue a business idea I have been toying with for a while that would also allow me to set my own schedule and pay rate, though by no means making a high-powered career salary.
This is the only thing that sounds good to me. The only thing that feels right.
So, needless to say, I am terrified. This means a lot of scraping by, a lot of sacrifice, a lot of worries, a lot of frugality, and concurrently raising my children/maintaining a home/teaching part-time/starting a small business. But this feels so right, and I'm motivated to see it through. Fears and all, I know that the right thing for me at this time is to spend most of my time with my children, making our home and family the main priority. It's not the right decision for everyone, and I'm still very envious of full-time working mamas, but it just doesn't feel right for our family at the moment. I am trusting that we will be able to work through this period of transition for our family, while fulfilling our goals, and making our family our top priority.
Friday, January 27, 2012
Passing the Test
The hubby and I have set some financial goals for our family that we hope will allow us to start breaking free from the bondage of debt. And while difficult lately, seeing as we have been down to one income, running behind on bills, etc, we have held to the fact that I would be starting work soon, and that we could finally start making progress on our goal to eliminate credit cards from our lives.
I signed a contract on Monday to teach two sections of an English class at the local university where I am an adjunct lecturer. Everything was a go, and I was excitedly awaiting the idea of the usual paycheck, knowing we could finally get to work on our goals.
On Wednesday, the start of the semester, I received word that one of my classes was canceled due to low enrollment, even though there was a contract signed--meaning my pay would drop by 50%.
I was devastated. Actually, to be honest, I still am. I felt like our goals were shattered. I felt forsaken. I had felt that we had made the right choices in setting our goals and were following the correct path, and now we will still be struggling in a land of being perpetually past due on bills, let alone getting out of debt.
This is definitely a time where I need to learn to exercise faith. I still feel very strongly that the goals that we have in place are still the right ones. I am trying to remember that, as the saying goes, "When one door closes, another one opens." I am praying that I will be able to know where to go from here. (Would it be too much to ask for God to mark the door with a flashing neon sign that says "GO HERE!" in ridiculously big, bright lights?)
I found a quote that seemed particularly fitting: "Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its troubles. It empties today of its strength." The quote is from Corrie Ten Boom, and I am desperately holding onto those words right now. I am a chronic worrywart, and a lot of times, I allow worry to take over and rob me of my strength and ambition, and if there ever was a time to hold fast and true to my goals, it is now. I need to be strong for my family, and to work on ALL of my personal goals to better myself not just for them, but for me, too.
Here's hoping I have the strength and the discernment to know how to accomplish the goals that are so important to us. I feel like I am being tested, as is my family, and usually I feel as though we are tested in our lives when we are close to heading down the right path. Here's hoping I pass this test with flying colors.
I signed a contract on Monday to teach two sections of an English class at the local university where I am an adjunct lecturer. Everything was a go, and I was excitedly awaiting the idea of the usual paycheck, knowing we could finally get to work on our goals.
On Wednesday, the start of the semester, I received word that one of my classes was canceled due to low enrollment, even though there was a contract signed--meaning my pay would drop by 50%.
I was devastated. Actually, to be honest, I still am. I felt like our goals were shattered. I felt forsaken. I had felt that we had made the right choices in setting our goals and were following the correct path, and now we will still be struggling in a land of being perpetually past due on bills, let alone getting out of debt.
This is definitely a time where I need to learn to exercise faith. I still feel very strongly that the goals that we have in place are still the right ones. I am trying to remember that, as the saying goes, "When one door closes, another one opens." I am praying that I will be able to know where to go from here. (Would it be too much to ask for God to mark the door with a flashing neon sign that says "GO HERE!" in ridiculously big, bright lights?)
I found a quote that seemed particularly fitting: "Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its troubles. It empties today of its strength." The quote is from Corrie Ten Boom, and I am desperately holding onto those words right now. I am a chronic worrywart, and a lot of times, I allow worry to take over and rob me of my strength and ambition, and if there ever was a time to hold fast and true to my goals, it is now. I need to be strong for my family, and to work on ALL of my personal goals to better myself not just for them, but for me, too.
Here's hoping I have the strength and the discernment to know how to accomplish the goals that are so important to us. I feel like I am being tested, as is my family, and usually I feel as though we are tested in our lives when we are close to heading down the right path. Here's hoping I pass this test with flying colors.
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
How My New Year's Resolutions Are Going....
I figured I would take some time and assess how my resolutions are going, resolution by resolution:
1. Spend less money on things that can be avoided. This means eating out less (and cooking in more), looking for gently used clothing or items when I can, working my food storage to my advantage/buying in bulk, avoiding buying "stuff" on credit cards, and focusing less on "wants" and more on "needs." I don't have to buy things to make me happy. I'm doing "better" in this category. I would not, however, say I am doing perfectly. I can't quite squelch all of my impulses just yet, but I've turned down opportunities to shop or spend excess money at times, though I admit I have spent money on some fun things. I tend to find myself saying, "OK, money is tight, so I won't spend anything," and I don't think that is practical. I need to find a balance. But do I honestly feel like some of my attitudes are staring to change? Yes. I hope I can keep it up. We are also doing a great job at buying food in bulk and snagging great deals on needed items like clothing and shoes. We have been trying to focus more on what we need as opposed to what we want.
2. Get out of credit card debt as much as we can. Use as much of MY income as we can to do so. Pay even a few dollars more than the minimum payment every month. This is going to be a long road. We will struggle making more than the minimum payments while we are behind on some of our bills. I also have not started back to work yet. So, another work in progress.
3. Work harder to get bills out on time. I am a lazy and ineffective bill payer, and sometimes juggle bills around intentionally. Another item that will take time. The hubby and I are working on trying to communicate better and come up with game plans, though, and for us, communicating is a big key to this. So, we're trying.
4. Be a more loving and compassionate wife to my husband. I can be a contrary butt sometimes. Trying. I will be brutally honest and admit that my hormones have affected my libido levels, as did depression. But, I think we are rediscovering each other as husband and wife, and not just pals, and it's been good for us. I think the hubby agrees. I'm just not an affectionate soul physically, so this is really hard for me, but I'm also enjoying it.
5. Be more patient and loving toward my children. Appreciate them more. React with love more than anger when I am frustrated. This is hard sometimes. I have a four year old who isn't pottytrained yet. And I have a new baby. But, I'm trying to learn to pick my battles, and appreciate them for who they are, and learn to focus on their needs instead of my wants.
6. Work harder to get my grading done on time and my classes more organized this year. I'm always grading papers at the very last minute. Same thing with grade calculations. Not anymore. My syllabus is due to my boss in five days. I haven't started it yet. I fail at this one.
7. Buy more locally grown and produced foods. I love fresh produce and homegrown yummies. And I'm lucky to live somewhere where they are accessible to me and within our budget. I'm going good here! Over the weekend, we went to a bulk foods grocer in our region, a new place to check out, and I was able to buy local bulk foods, produce, baked goods, meats, and cheeses. I even used this store to snag some of the supplies for The Goob's birthday party.
8. Take an active interest in cooking meals for my family and enjoy it even more. Working on this. Gathering recipes, planning fun desserts for our family this week...it's been fun.
9. Exercise for a half an hour at least three times a week. Today was the first day I even attempted exercise. I exercised for ten minutes and thought I was going to die. I suck at this. I'm pitiful.
10. Work to keep a cleaner, more organized home. Between getting new things for the holidays/birthdays, mess from said celebrations, etc., my house is a disaster. I plan on fixing that, ASAP. I'm using Pinterest for organizational inspiration. And I have been purging out old stuff, and I got The Goob's closet cleaned out, for the most part, and purged a ton of The Bean's clothing.
11. I will make/do a project at least once a month. Use Pinterest for inspiration. I totally have rocked at this resolution. Yay for me! The blog is proof!!
12. Be more charitable. We have been donating to our local animal shelter every pay check. I'll be taking bags of stuff to Goodwill soon. I've been trying to give things we don't want anymore to some people in need. I have done a few charitable projects at church. But, I could do better. I don't always take advantage of opportunities.
13. Give more homemade gifts this year. I bought the supplies to make homemade gifts for my mother's birthday, AND I have plans for Valentine's gifts this year that are handmade! I'm so proud of myself in this department, because it is SOOO not my forte.
14. Work harder to celebrate holidays and enjoy them more than I usually do. I'm doing this! I enjoy holidays, but find myself becoming depressed because holidays have so many requirements, so much stress, and I haven't had the best of experiences with them over the years. But, I am working to change this. We had a great celebration for The Goob's 4th birthday, and The Engineer and I had a great date night at home on New Year's Eve. I also have plans for Valentine's Day, St. Patrick's Day, and Easter. This is another area where I am proud of myself.
I encourage you, if you have made resolutions, to assess them every now and again, and see how you are doing. Obviously, some of mine are broken already, but I'm trying to dust myself off and start again. Each new day is a brand new start!!
1. Spend less money on things that can be avoided. This means eating out less (and cooking in more), looking for gently used clothing or items when I can, working my food storage to my advantage/buying in bulk, avoiding buying "stuff" on credit cards, and focusing less on "wants" and more on "needs." I don't have to buy things to make me happy. I'm doing "better" in this category. I would not, however, say I am doing perfectly. I can't quite squelch all of my impulses just yet, but I've turned down opportunities to shop or spend excess money at times, though I admit I have spent money on some fun things. I tend to find myself saying, "OK, money is tight, so I won't spend anything," and I don't think that is practical. I need to find a balance. But do I honestly feel like some of my attitudes are staring to change? Yes. I hope I can keep it up. We are also doing a great job at buying food in bulk and snagging great deals on needed items like clothing and shoes. We have been trying to focus more on what we need as opposed to what we want.
2. Get out of credit card debt as much as we can. Use as much of MY income as we can to do so. Pay even a few dollars more than the minimum payment every month. This is going to be a long road. We will struggle making more than the minimum payments while we are behind on some of our bills. I also have not started back to work yet. So, another work in progress.
3. Work harder to get bills out on time. I am a lazy and ineffective bill payer, and sometimes juggle bills around intentionally. Another item that will take time. The hubby and I are working on trying to communicate better and come up with game plans, though, and for us, communicating is a big key to this. So, we're trying.
4. Be a more loving and compassionate wife to my husband. I can be a contrary butt sometimes. Trying. I will be brutally honest and admit that my hormones have affected my libido levels, as did depression. But, I think we are rediscovering each other as husband and wife, and not just pals, and it's been good for us. I think the hubby agrees. I'm just not an affectionate soul physically, so this is really hard for me, but I'm also enjoying it.
5. Be more patient and loving toward my children. Appreciate them more. React with love more than anger when I am frustrated. This is hard sometimes. I have a four year old who isn't pottytrained yet. And I have a new baby. But, I'm trying to learn to pick my battles, and appreciate them for who they are, and learn to focus on their needs instead of my wants.
6. Work harder to get my grading done on time and my classes more organized this year. I'm always grading papers at the very last minute. Same thing with grade calculations. Not anymore. My syllabus is due to my boss in five days. I haven't started it yet. I fail at this one.
7. Buy more locally grown and produced foods. I love fresh produce and homegrown yummies. And I'm lucky to live somewhere where they are accessible to me and within our budget. I'm going good here! Over the weekend, we went to a bulk foods grocer in our region, a new place to check out, and I was able to buy local bulk foods, produce, baked goods, meats, and cheeses. I even used this store to snag some of the supplies for The Goob's birthday party.
8. Take an active interest in cooking meals for my family and enjoy it even more. Working on this. Gathering recipes, planning fun desserts for our family this week...it's been fun.
9. Exercise for a half an hour at least three times a week. Today was the first day I even attempted exercise. I exercised for ten minutes and thought I was going to die. I suck at this. I'm pitiful.
10. Work to keep a cleaner, more organized home. Between getting new things for the holidays/birthdays, mess from said celebrations, etc., my house is a disaster. I plan on fixing that, ASAP. I'm using Pinterest for organizational inspiration. And I have been purging out old stuff, and I got The Goob's closet cleaned out, for the most part, and purged a ton of The Bean's clothing.
11. I will make/do a project at least once a month. Use Pinterest for inspiration. I totally have rocked at this resolution. Yay for me! The blog is proof!!
12. Be more charitable. We have been donating to our local animal shelter every pay check. I'll be taking bags of stuff to Goodwill soon. I've been trying to give things we don't want anymore to some people in need. I have done a few charitable projects at church. But, I could do better. I don't always take advantage of opportunities.
13. Give more homemade gifts this year. I bought the supplies to make homemade gifts for my mother's birthday, AND I have plans for Valentine's gifts this year that are handmade! I'm so proud of myself in this department, because it is SOOO not my forte.
14. Work harder to celebrate holidays and enjoy them more than I usually do. I'm doing this! I enjoy holidays, but find myself becoming depressed because holidays have so many requirements, so much stress, and I haven't had the best of experiences with them over the years. But, I am working to change this. We had a great celebration for The Goob's 4th birthday, and The Engineer and I had a great date night at home on New Year's Eve. I also have plans for Valentine's Day, St. Patrick's Day, and Easter. This is another area where I am proud of myself.
I encourage you, if you have made resolutions, to assess them every now and again, and see how you are doing. Obviously, some of mine are broken already, but I'm trying to dust myself off and start again. Each new day is a brand new start!!
Monday, January 9, 2012
Living Like No One Else
Our family is on the first few steps of a financial journey, and it isn't easy.
Minus our credit union card, we have cut up and destroyed our other credit cards.
We're behind on some bills and are attempting to get our payments caught up.
We're looking at thousands upon thousands of dollars of debt and knowing we will have to sacrifice fun, frivolous purchases, treats that we are accustomed to, in order to tackle this mountain we have to climb.
We know we will probably stumble, quite a few times, and will have to pick ourselves up, dust off, and start over again.
We know most of my income from teaching simply HAS to go onto debt, meaning the job that I took as a hobby is now, for the moment, somewhat of a necessity, which is somewhat heartbreaking, considering we should be comfortable on one income, and aren't, purely due to stupid choices.
But one of the things that is hardest for me of all? When well-meaning friends and family ask why we aren't shopping on whim, or eating out willy-nilly, or when they poke fun, or simply don't understand what we are trying to accomplish. Or when their words serve as that little voice that says, "Come on, spend the money you don't have anyway...what will this one time hurt?" They aren't trying to be mean, or harmful, or disrespectful, and I get that, but it's still hard. It's hard enough for me to maintain impulse control on my own, but sometimes, it's harder when you have...shall we say...encouragement from loved ones and friends to break your goals, or when you see the looks on their faces that make you know without a doubt that they think you are being weird, or foolish, or too cautious, or silly, or you're just not willing to have fun with them.
Financial guru Dave Ramsey talks about this a lot. He says basically that when people start making fun of you and discouraging you that it means you are likely starting to make the right decisions financially. He has a famous quote that says, "“If you will live like no one else, later you can live like no one else.” It's on the bottom of every page of our edition of The Total Money Makeover. Basically, what he is saying is that, if you live below your means, and don't do what everyone else is doing now, if you live in such a way that people poke fun of your financial goals and your budgeting, and you're cutting expenses/living a very frugal and humble life, and doing it all now so you can improve your lives, get out of debt, and build wealth, then someday, you will be debt-free, beyond comfortable, and can truly live it up and live like no one else.
I need that to be my ever-constant mantra.
Minus our credit union card, we have cut up and destroyed our other credit cards.
We're behind on some bills and are attempting to get our payments caught up.
We're looking at thousands upon thousands of dollars of debt and knowing we will have to sacrifice fun, frivolous purchases, treats that we are accustomed to, in order to tackle this mountain we have to climb.
We know we will probably stumble, quite a few times, and will have to pick ourselves up, dust off, and start over again.
We know most of my income from teaching simply HAS to go onto debt, meaning the job that I took as a hobby is now, for the moment, somewhat of a necessity, which is somewhat heartbreaking, considering we should be comfortable on one income, and aren't, purely due to stupid choices.
But one of the things that is hardest for me of all? When well-meaning friends and family ask why we aren't shopping on whim, or eating out willy-nilly, or when they poke fun, or simply don't understand what we are trying to accomplish. Or when their words serve as that little voice that says, "Come on, spend the money you don't have anyway...what will this one time hurt?" They aren't trying to be mean, or harmful, or disrespectful, and I get that, but it's still hard. It's hard enough for me to maintain impulse control on my own, but sometimes, it's harder when you have...shall we say...encouragement from loved ones and friends to break your goals, or when you see the looks on their faces that make you know without a doubt that they think you are being weird, or foolish, or too cautious, or silly, or you're just not willing to have fun with them.
Financial guru Dave Ramsey talks about this a lot. He says basically that when people start making fun of you and discouraging you that it means you are likely starting to make the right decisions financially. He has a famous quote that says, "“If you will live like no one else, later you can live like no one else.” It's on the bottom of every page of our edition of The Total Money Makeover. Basically, what he is saying is that, if you live below your means, and don't do what everyone else is doing now, if you live in such a way that people poke fun of your financial goals and your budgeting, and you're cutting expenses/living a very frugal and humble life, and doing it all now so you can improve your lives, get out of debt, and build wealth, then someday, you will be debt-free, beyond comfortable, and can truly live it up and live like no one else.
I need that to be my ever-constant mantra.
Wednesday, December 28, 2011
Back to (Financial) School
I've been struggling a lot with my goals to get out of debt and spending less money.
It's difficult. There's pressure from all sides--commercials tell us we need more, more, more. Friends don't always understand why you don't want to spend even a few dollars and sometimes joke and criticize. If you're an emotional spender, like myself, in times of stress, you find yourself nickel-ing and dime-ing your money away in a futile attempt to feel better for a bit. When money is tight, and you get behind on bills, the feelings of inadequacy are like a kick in the teeth.
And then there's the shame of getting into debt in the first place.
Needless to say, there's a mountain to climb, and it's often terrifying and daunting.
However, my wise hubby shared an analogy with me. I spent six years in college, doing a lot of drudge work, doing things that I didn't want to do, sometimes facing the criticism of others, stress, mistakes, failures, and so forth, all in the pursuit of something greater that would benefit myself and my family someday in the future. I didn't always want to keep going, but I did, and it was worth it.
Finances are very much the same thing. You spent years learning from mistakes, picking up new skills and habits, doing things you don't want to do, making sacrifices, dealing with stress, often for years, all for the sake of a future benefit.
And the thing is, stress and all, I loved being in school, and even contemplate going back--and a lot of times, while in school, I wanted it to be over so badly, but the success and the end goal makes me want to go back. So, when things get me down when it comes to financial goals, maybe I need to relate it to my schooling--something that will take years to accomplish, and strength and hard work I often don't feel capable of--all to ensure a comfortable future for me and my little family.
It's difficult. There's pressure from all sides--commercials tell us we need more, more, more. Friends don't always understand why you don't want to spend even a few dollars and sometimes joke and criticize. If you're an emotional spender, like myself, in times of stress, you find yourself nickel-ing and dime-ing your money away in a futile attempt to feel better for a bit. When money is tight, and you get behind on bills, the feelings of inadequacy are like a kick in the teeth.
And then there's the shame of getting into debt in the first place.
Needless to say, there's a mountain to climb, and it's often terrifying and daunting.
However, my wise hubby shared an analogy with me. I spent six years in college, doing a lot of drudge work, doing things that I didn't want to do, sometimes facing the criticism of others, stress, mistakes, failures, and so forth, all in the pursuit of something greater that would benefit myself and my family someday in the future. I didn't always want to keep going, but I did, and it was worth it.
Finances are very much the same thing. You spent years learning from mistakes, picking up new skills and habits, doing things you don't want to do, making sacrifices, dealing with stress, often for years, all for the sake of a future benefit.
And the thing is, stress and all, I loved being in school, and even contemplate going back--and a lot of times, while in school, I wanted it to be over so badly, but the success and the end goal makes me want to go back. So, when things get me down when it comes to financial goals, maybe I need to relate it to my schooling--something that will take years to accomplish, and strength and hard work I often don't feel capable of--all to ensure a comfortable future for me and my little family.
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
Welcome to the Path Less Traveled
Over the weekend, I found a little sign that stood out to me while shopping at Dillon's Country Treasures. It's a simple, green, rustic looking sign with the phrase, "Welcome to the path less traveled." I put it above my kitchen window, and pondered why it stood out to me so much, beyond the fact that it references a Robert Frost poem, and I am an English literature buff.
I have been struggling a lot lately, wanting desperately to make changes in my life. I want to repair our financial situation and work on whittling down debt. I want to be a more productive and loving wife and mother. I want to become more frugal and really work toward making our family more self-reliant and provident. And when you work toward making those changes, it can be really difficult. I watch friends spending tons of money on their families at Christmas, and I worry about our modest budget and gifts and what others will think of them. When I shop with friends, I think about every purchase as I watch them buy what tickles their fancy. I feel like the only person who struggles with motivation after cleaning up the same messes day after day. I feel like the only parent who loses their patience with their kids so often.
And it can be really difficult sometimes, wanting to be like other people, feeling like the only one who is saying no to stupid little purchases, or who can't do this or that because we're trying to pay down debt. Sometimes, friends do look at you funny when you say you don't want to do this or that, or can't spend the money right now. But, the thing is, beside this sign is another little one that says, "Forever and always, no matter what." I am doing these things for my family. Sure, maybe I can't keep up with my friends when it comes to shopping, and maybe we aren't spending as much as another family is at Christmas, and maybe I am cleaning the same stuff time after time, but I'm doing these things for my family, who is mine forever, and who really matter. Sometimes, keeping up with everyone else is "the path most traveled," but it's going to be "the path less traveled" that will the best for my family and those who are truly important to me. And if they are walking it with me, it's not a bad road to be on.
I have been struggling a lot lately, wanting desperately to make changes in my life. I want to repair our financial situation and work on whittling down debt. I want to be a more productive and loving wife and mother. I want to become more frugal and really work toward making our family more self-reliant and provident. And when you work toward making those changes, it can be really difficult. I watch friends spending tons of money on their families at Christmas, and I worry about our modest budget and gifts and what others will think of them. When I shop with friends, I think about every purchase as I watch them buy what tickles their fancy. I feel like the only person who struggles with motivation after cleaning up the same messes day after day. I feel like the only parent who loses their patience with their kids so often.
And it can be really difficult sometimes, wanting to be like other people, feeling like the only one who is saying no to stupid little purchases, or who can't do this or that because we're trying to pay down debt. Sometimes, friends do look at you funny when you say you don't want to do this or that, or can't spend the money right now. But, the thing is, beside this sign is another little one that says, "Forever and always, no matter what." I am doing these things for my family. Sure, maybe I can't keep up with my friends when it comes to shopping, and maybe we aren't spending as much as another family is at Christmas, and maybe I am cleaning the same stuff time after time, but I'm doing these things for my family, who is mine forever, and who really matter. Sometimes, keeping up with everyone else is "the path most traveled," but it's going to be "the path less traveled" that will the best for my family and those who are truly important to me. And if they are walking it with me, it's not a bad road to be on.
Today is the Day....
Today is the day...
-I start working toward getting out of debt and improving our financial lives.
-I start working toward feeding my family more foods that are better for them.
-where I resolve to use eating out as a treat, rather than a habit.
-when I show more gratitude for what I have been blessed with in my life.
-that I find ways to save money and live a more frugal life.
-I focus more on my children and what they need, instead of simply muddling through the day.
-when I work toward living a more productive life every day.
-where I worry less about appearances and what others might think of me.
-that I strive to be a better wife to my husband.
-I begin working on cleaning out our mess of a basement after the horrors of Mouse-a-geddon.
-that I start working on becoming more self reliant, particularly in the areas of emergency preparedness and food storage.
...And the beautiful thing about this? If I slip up, or I have a bad day, tomorrow will someday be today, and I can start anew.
-I start working toward getting out of debt and improving our financial lives.
-I start working toward feeding my family more foods that are better for them.
-where I resolve to use eating out as a treat, rather than a habit.
-when I show more gratitude for what I have been blessed with in my life.
-that I find ways to save money and live a more frugal life.
-I focus more on my children and what they need, instead of simply muddling through the day.
-when I work toward living a more productive life every day.
-where I worry less about appearances and what others might think of me.
-that I strive to be a better wife to my husband.
-I begin working on cleaning out our mess of a basement after the horrors of Mouse-a-geddon.
-that I start working on becoming more self reliant, particularly in the areas of emergency preparedness and food storage.
...And the beautiful thing about this? If I slip up, or I have a bad day, tomorrow will someday be today, and I can start anew.
Thursday, November 17, 2011
New Year's Resolutions
I know it's early, but for some reason, I'm in the mood to start thinking about my New Year's Resolutions. I think maybe I just need the feeling and hope of a new start? I think every woman gets into those funks where you just wanna brush off your knees and hands, get back up, and start fresh after those occasional knocks that life sends your way.
1. Spend less money on things that can be avoided. This means eating out less (and cooking in more), looking for gently used clothing or items when I can, working my food storage to my advantage/buying in bulk, avoiding buying "stuff" on credit cards, and focusing less on "wants" and more on "needs." I don't have to buy things to make me happy.
2. Get out of credit card debt as much as we can. Use as much of MY income as we can to do so. Pay even a few dollars more than the minimum payment every month.
3. Work harder to get bills out on time. I am a lazy and ineffective bill payer, and sometimes juggle bills around intentionally.
4. Be a more loving and compassionate wife to my husband. I can be a contrary butt sometimes.
5. Be more patient and loving toward my children. Appreciate them more. React with love more than anger when I am frustrated.
6. Work harder to get my grading done on time and my classes more organized this year. I'm always grading papers at the very last minute. Same thing with grade calculations. Not anymore.
7. Buy more locally grown and produced foods. I love fresh produce and homegrown yummies. And I'm lucky to live somewhere where they are accessible to me and within our budget.
8. Take an active interest in cooking meals for my family and enjoy it even more.
9. Exercise for a half an hour at least three times a week.
10. Work to keep a cleaner, more organized home.
11. I will make/do a project at least once a month. Use Pinterest for inspiration.
12. Be more charitable.
13. Give more homemade gifts this year.
14. Work harder to celebrate and enjoy holidays more than I usually do.
What are your resolutions this year?
1. Spend less money on things that can be avoided. This means eating out less (and cooking in more), looking for gently used clothing or items when I can, working my food storage to my advantage/buying in bulk, avoiding buying "stuff" on credit cards, and focusing less on "wants" and more on "needs." I don't have to buy things to make me happy.
2. Get out of credit card debt as much as we can. Use as much of MY income as we can to do so. Pay even a few dollars more than the minimum payment every month.
3. Work harder to get bills out on time. I am a lazy and ineffective bill payer, and sometimes juggle bills around intentionally.
4. Be a more loving and compassionate wife to my husband. I can be a contrary butt sometimes.
5. Be more patient and loving toward my children. Appreciate them more. React with love more than anger when I am frustrated.
6. Work harder to get my grading done on time and my classes more organized this year. I'm always grading papers at the very last minute. Same thing with grade calculations. Not anymore.
7. Buy more locally grown and produced foods. I love fresh produce and homegrown yummies. And I'm lucky to live somewhere where they are accessible to me and within our budget.
8. Take an active interest in cooking meals for my family and enjoy it even more.
9. Exercise for a half an hour at least three times a week.
10. Work to keep a cleaner, more organized home.
11. I will make/do a project at least once a month. Use Pinterest for inspiration.
12. Be more charitable.
13. Give more homemade gifts this year.
14. Work harder to celebrate and enjoy holidays more than I usually do.
What are your resolutions this year?
Thursday, November 10, 2011
Why I am Grateful, #10: Good Jobs
I am grateful that, given the current state of the economy, that our family is blessed to have good jobs with adequate pay and benefits, so we can have a roof over our heads and food on our table, plus the occasional moment of fun now and again. Having grown up in a home where my family's paycheck was determined by individual jobs and wasn't regular, I cherish knowing what we will be bringing in every two weeks.
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