More Wordless Wednesday

Lindy Hop

As I have mentioned before, I volunteer at the local animal shelter.  While there, I meet many wonderful animals with very distinct personalities. 
Recently, I had the privilege to meet Lindy, a spaniel mix. As I went to walk her, I noticed that her hind legs didn't work very well, and would collapse under her frequently.  Yet, until I had her on the lead, I would never have known.  Up until then, all I saw was a wonderfully happy, bright dog, that just oozed gratitude for being alive.  Even when she struggled to walk, or when she messed herself, she was vibrant, trembling with excitement and sheer joy, and her eyes just twinkled.  This was a dog that was so happy to be on this earth, spinal injuries and kidney troubles and all.
She found a wonderful foster mother to take her home, but sadly, it turns out that Lindy's happiness was an amazing, yet heartbreaking, front of fortitude and strength.  Her troubles were worse than we all realized, and she died in her foster family's loving arms this afternoon.
Although I only knew her for a short time, her life was a testament to me that we must be grateful for the time we have on this planet, that happiness and strength can be found, even in seemingly insurmountable circumstances.  It makes you think--if she can do it, so can I.  The lessons we can learn from the animals and creatures in our lives, no matter how meek or small.
Rest in peace, my Lindy Hop, and I thank God for the foster who provided you such a loving home in your last days. 

Little of This, Little of That...

A lot of random thoughts are brewing today...we'll see where they take me.
Animals.  I've had animals on the brain a lot of late.  We still have our foster kitty, renamed Sunflower (or Sunny, for short).  I renamed her something more positive than Crybaby was, and I swear her personality has brightened under the name change.  She has a propensity for searching out sunbeams and laying in their path, and since I call her "my little sunflower," she started answering to that, and it stuck.  We've dealt with a few minor health issues along the way, but she is adjusting quite well to our family.  Even the dog plays well with her (most of the time).
As I've mentioned, I volunteer at a local animal shelter.  Our main mission is to save as many lives as we can, so we can match adoptable animals to potential forever homes.  However, as with anything in life, there is occasional loss.  During my shift yesterday, I spent some time helping with some sick kittens in our kitten nursery.  Our shelter director was called out on an emergency, and we were unable to euthanize a very ill kitten, and a volunteer was holding it and attempting to comfort it as much as she could.  I felt compelled to take a turn with the kitten.  I wasn't sure why, but it made my heart ache, so I took over the duties with this little kitten.  It was not easy.  The kitten was in respiratory distress and suffocating on fluid.  I held it in a blanket, as close to my chest as possible, up against my heart, as I caressed its fur, tiny head, and ears, and attempted to make it as comfortable as possible.  It passed away snuggled against my breast.  I spent a lot of the evening angry--angry at pet owners who refuse to care for their animals, who don't spay and neuter--and I tried to figure out why it was so important to take a turn with this kitten.  It dawned on me.  As hard as it was, it was easier to give something of myself, even if a little, than to walk away.  It made me sick to think that the kitten was there, and I had to give something.  It would have hurt more to walk away.  I have dealt with dying animals before, but this one affected me so much more. It was one of the most difficult and yet moving experiences of my life.

On to more positive subjects.  Lately, due to some questions I have about things, life, and whatnot, I have been investigating alternative means to peace and health in my life.  We have been eating healthier foods, less meat, and less dairy.  I have been doing extensive research into natural remedies, homeopathy, herbal cures, etc. for minor health concerns.  When my church stopped funding for our counseling sessions, I started looking for different ways to reflect, meditate, and to find peace in our lives.  We have been spending more time outside, taking in the natural world around us.  I also experienced my first reiki treatment.  (A good source for information on reiki can be found here.)  I am blessed to have a friend who provided this service to me.  It was a wonderful time for me to reflect and to ponder about my goals, my concerns, and so forth.  I had this image that I was shedding this skin of negativity as I listened to the music in the background.  When the session was finished, my friend asked me a lot of questions about my life that were spot on--she noted that I am often too hard on myself and that I have my expectations too high when it comes to where I feel I should be, and she said that she felt the need to express to me to work toward balance and being fair and kind to myself.  She also noted that my healing colors were purple and green, which I have found myself drawn to of late before my session.  It was a great experience, and I'm not sure I have ever so deeply meditated in my life.  My friend also shares a similar religious background and understood where I was coming from when I expressed a weakness in my testimony lately, and was so willing to listen to how I felt, while supporting me in my questions and needs, as well as my desire to reconnect to my spiritual foundations while staying true to myself and my heart and what I feel is right.
So, what else have we been into?  I've been enjoying the summer spending time with my family before I go back to the grind of teaching.  We've been playing a lot in sand, and in water, reading stories together and watching movies.  I admit to a growing frustration with my teething infant's lack of desire when it comes to sleeping, but we're managing.  I'm preparing for a course redesign this semester, mandated by my department--I, along with two other adjuncts, will be testing out a new design for our freshman composition courses, and in some ways, I'm grateful because I felt I was starting to develop a rut when it came to my teaching/curriculum.  The hubby received his HAM radio license, and I've enjoyed seeing him get so excited about this new hobby in his life.  It especially proved valuable as a radio service during a massive storm in the area which did extensive damage to the region and has left tens of thousands without power (called a "super derecho," a violent and destructive wind and thunderstorm that was in a arc shape that spanned several states).  The radio enabled us to stay connected to weather service updates during moments of unreliable power, as well as emergency updates, thanks to diligent amateur radio broadcasters.  The storm was so bad that it took the neighbors' staked, full sized trampoline out of the ground, down the hill through our driveway (and over our car--sigh), and across our street into the next neighbors' yard.  (Our car is OK--nothing a trip to the body shop won't fix.  I will show a pic of the trampoline's landing spot.)
Well, that's about everything that I can think of.  Now, if you'll excuse me, this sleep-deprived mama is going to search for rest.  Good night.  (Also, planning on getting back into our "What We Store" series soon.  Keep an eye out.)

BTW, we need to mow our lawn.

15 Years

On this date, fifteen years ago, I lost a friend in a tragic accident. I was fourteen at the time, and this person was one of the most down to earth, genuine persons that I had ever met, and have ever met, even at such a young age. When he died, a part of us all died with him. When you lose a friend in childhood, even in late childhood, there's a certain amount of childhood innocence that is lost with the deceased that you simply can't get back.
I think of this person often. I haven't seen a picture of him in 11 years due to a mishap involving a school project and a careless janitor that concluded in my losing all of my mementos of our friendship. I hear certain songs, and, to this day, they make me sob in remembrance in him. And although I have lost other dear, young friends along the way, he is the loss that has touched me the most, that has impacted my life the most deeply, and he is the one that I mourn today, fifteen years later.
Whether or not you believe in the concept of an afterlife, I know with a surety that our deceased loved ones live on, through us, through our every footstep, every memory cherished, and I carry them with me everywhere that I go. And I know that my friend is still with me, even now, as surely as I know my first name. I feel the presence of my lost loved ones so strongly, and whether they are still really there with me, or whether it's merely impenetrable memory, I don't know, but in some capacity, they are there, and I am comforted.
My friend, I miss you and love you more than you know. Rest in peace with the knowledge that you are remembered, and, as the hymn states, "God be with you 'til we meet again."

Why I am Grateful, #23

I was listening to a song from the '80s today, "Life in a Northern Town" by Dream Academy, and for some reason, I started thinking about some of the friends I have lost to death throughout the years. For some reason, there have been more than a few friends of mine who have died too young, but all were special to me, and all blessed me in very distinct ways. So, today, I've spent privately memorializing them, and their presence and time in my life is what I am grateful for today.