Little of This, Little of That...

A lot of random thoughts are brewing today...we'll see where they take me.
Animals.  I've had animals on the brain a lot of late.  We still have our foster kitty, renamed Sunflower (or Sunny, for short).  I renamed her something more positive than Crybaby was, and I swear her personality has brightened under the name change.  She has a propensity for searching out sunbeams and laying in their path, and since I call her "my little sunflower," she started answering to that, and it stuck.  We've dealt with a few minor health issues along the way, but she is adjusting quite well to our family.  Even the dog plays well with her (most of the time).
As I've mentioned, I volunteer at a local animal shelter.  Our main mission is to save as many lives as we can, so we can match adoptable animals to potential forever homes.  However, as with anything in life, there is occasional loss.  During my shift yesterday, I spent some time helping with some sick kittens in our kitten nursery.  Our shelter director was called out on an emergency, and we were unable to euthanize a very ill kitten, and a volunteer was holding it and attempting to comfort it as much as she could.  I felt compelled to take a turn with the kitten.  I wasn't sure why, but it made my heart ache, so I took over the duties with this little kitten.  It was not easy.  The kitten was in respiratory distress and suffocating on fluid.  I held it in a blanket, as close to my chest as possible, up against my heart, as I caressed its fur, tiny head, and ears, and attempted to make it as comfortable as possible.  It passed away snuggled against my breast.  I spent a lot of the evening angry--angry at pet owners who refuse to care for their animals, who don't spay and neuter--and I tried to figure out why it was so important to take a turn with this kitten.  It dawned on me.  As hard as it was, it was easier to give something of myself, even if a little, than to walk away.  It made me sick to think that the kitten was there, and I had to give something.  It would have hurt more to walk away.  I have dealt with dying animals before, but this one affected me so much more. It was one of the most difficult and yet moving experiences of my life.

On to more positive subjects.  Lately, due to some questions I have about things, life, and whatnot, I have been investigating alternative means to peace and health in my life.  We have been eating healthier foods, less meat, and less dairy.  I have been doing extensive research into natural remedies, homeopathy, herbal cures, etc. for minor health concerns.  When my church stopped funding for our counseling sessions, I started looking for different ways to reflect, meditate, and to find peace in our lives.  We have been spending more time outside, taking in the natural world around us.  I also experienced my first reiki treatment.  (A good source for information on reiki can be found here.)  I am blessed to have a friend who provided this service to me.  It was a wonderful time for me to reflect and to ponder about my goals, my concerns, and so forth.  I had this image that I was shedding this skin of negativity as I listened to the music in the background.  When the session was finished, my friend asked me a lot of questions about my life that were spot on--she noted that I am often too hard on myself and that I have my expectations too high when it comes to where I feel I should be, and she said that she felt the need to express to me to work toward balance and being fair and kind to myself.  She also noted that my healing colors were purple and green, which I have found myself drawn to of late before my session.  It was a great experience, and I'm not sure I have ever so deeply meditated in my life.  My friend also shares a similar religious background and understood where I was coming from when I expressed a weakness in my testimony lately, and was so willing to listen to how I felt, while supporting me in my questions and needs, as well as my desire to reconnect to my spiritual foundations while staying true to myself and my heart and what I feel is right.
So, what else have we been into?  I've been enjoying the summer spending time with my family before I go back to the grind of teaching.  We've been playing a lot in sand, and in water, reading stories together and watching movies.  I admit to a growing frustration with my teething infant's lack of desire when it comes to sleeping, but we're managing.  I'm preparing for a course redesign this semester, mandated by my department--I, along with two other adjuncts, will be testing out a new design for our freshman composition courses, and in some ways, I'm grateful because I felt I was starting to develop a rut when it came to my teaching/curriculum.  The hubby received his HAM radio license, and I've enjoyed seeing him get so excited about this new hobby in his life.  It especially proved valuable as a radio service during a massive storm in the area which did extensive damage to the region and has left tens of thousands without power (called a "super derecho," a violent and destructive wind and thunderstorm that was in a arc shape that spanned several states).  The radio enabled us to stay connected to weather service updates during moments of unreliable power, as well as emergency updates, thanks to diligent amateur radio broadcasters.  The storm was so bad that it took the neighbors' staked, full sized trampoline out of the ground, down the hill through our driveway (and over our car--sigh), and across our street into the next neighbors' yard.  (Our car is OK--nothing a trip to the body shop won't fix.  I will show a pic of the trampoline's landing spot.)
Well, that's about everything that I can think of.  Now, if you'll excuse me, this sleep-deprived mama is going to search for rest.  Good night.  (Also, planning on getting back into our "What We Store" series soon.  Keep an eye out.)

BTW, we need to mow our lawn.

This is WONDERFUL!!

If you have read my previous post, you may find this interesting. Absolutely wonderful.
Mitch Mayne

A Lesson Learned

A friend posted a link on Facebook that I took an objection to (the link can be found here), and I found myself posting something I had been afraid to say for years:
"I think there is way too much focus on condemning the gay community and its supposed agenda. I keep hearing how gay marriage is going to destroy traditional marriage, and how this is all part of Satan's plan. Really? It wasn't the gay community who introduced infidelity, physical and emotional abuse, financial stress, pornography and substance addiction, etc, etc, into traditional marriage. We're doing a pretty good job of killing the notion of "marriage" ourselves. This is just a "Me-ism," but I believe that Satan is encouraging people to focus on the gay community instead of actually focusing on ourselves, and THAT is how marriage is getting destroyed. People are too focused on the "agenda" of the LGBT community instead of caring about their own homes, marriages, and what their children are doing. I have been afraid to say this for years because of the fall-out, but I will say it now, as a Mormon, I will not take away ANY rights, marriage included, of an LGBT person because what I believe is not what they have to believe, and I will focus on my own house before I condemn someone else's. Let God deal with people as he wants to. We don't know someone else's heart. I have loved ones, both friends and direct family, who are LGBT, and I love them too much to condemn their actions. Some of my gay friends were the MAIN ones to support my Mormon temple marriage and what I chose to do...how do I, in good conscience, take away what THEY believe in, just 'cause I feel differently? I'm sorry to go on a rant on here, but I have been afraid to say this for a long time b/c of what my Mormon friends would say, but I'm not afraid anymore. I am a Mormon, I believe in the tenets of my church, but I also believe in not taking away the rights of others, and I will never actively choose to hurt or condemn a community that has been so willing and accepting of me and what I believe, even when it is contrary to what I might feel."
Another person made a comment saying they didn't feel it was the school system's place to teach the concept of character, and that it is the family's job. I did make mention that some children don't have good families to rely on (look at the school shooting in Chardon, Oh. a few days ago; that child had a father in prison), and that the school can function as a family for some students, and referenced a few examples from my teaching career.
This woman started picking apart my thoughts, and I found myself picking apart hers. It got quite heated, and when I tried to bow out and said I was done talking, the woman said that it was because she was right, and I couldn't beat her, which set me off. This woman was a very stereotypical Mormon, a bajillion kids, and stuff on her profile referencing how Christ-like she is, and I made a very mean comment about how exactly NOT Christ-like she was, and it went downhill from there. She did insult me first, but I started laying it on.
By the end of it, insult after insult, I found myself shaking, with tears in my eyes. I was livid, hurt, this woman was everything I hated about Mormon stereotypes, and yet, I realized........I was stooping to her level.
So, I apologized to my friend who posted the article, apologized to the woman I was arguing with, and removed the derogatory comments, while leaving up what I believed in. I was insulted mercilessly yet again, and I simply blocked her. I couldn't take it anymore.
It dawned on me...you can't discuss love and tolerance and be hateful in your heart. I made apologies to those involved, and posted about the discussion, and my thoughts on gay rights' issues on my own page, and SUCH a wonderful discussion has taken place that has made my heart so happy. For years, I have felt like I was doing something wrong for supporting gay marriage, even going to one of my Bishops in fear I was erring (he assured me my thoughts were OK, and that I was still a good church member). And to get slammed so badly for believing that bullying is not OK in any situation, and that I felt, as a teacher, I should help my students develop character...I just didn't understand it. But, MY reaction was not any better, and I have done what I can to remedy it.
The lessons learned? I'm not alone in my beliefs. It's OK to stand up for something you feel is right. It is NOT OK to be nasty to someone just to get a point across; the more you have to fight a different opinion, the less secure you are in your own, and it made me realize I don't need to be "right" with everyone else to feel "right" in my heart about something. And I am proud of myself for taking a stand that I have been afraid to say for years now. I am grateful such a positive secondary discussion has resulted from this. I hope it continues.

Fabulous Read

Read this. Digest it. Live it.
I'm Christian, Unless You're Gay