A friend posted a link on Facebook that I took an objection to (the link can be found here), and I found myself posting something I had been afraid to say for years:
"I think there is way too much focus on condemning the gay community and its supposed agenda. I keep hearing how gay marriage is going to destroy traditional marriage, and how this is all part of Satan's plan. Really? It wasn't the gay community who introduced infidelity, physical and emotional abuse, financial stress, pornography and substance addiction, etc, etc, into traditional marriage. We're doing a pretty good job of killing the notion of "marriage" ourselves. This is just a "Me-ism," but I believe that Satan is encouraging people to focus on the gay community instead of actually focusing on ourselves, and THAT is how marriage is getting destroyed. People are too focused on the "agenda" of the LGBT community instead of caring about their own homes, marriages, and what their children are doing. I have been afraid to say this for years because of the fall-out, but I will say it now, as a Mormon, I will not take away ANY rights, marriage included, of an LGBT person because what I believe is not what they have to believe, and I will focus on my own house before I condemn someone else's. Let God deal with people as he wants to. We don't know someone else's heart. I have loved ones, both friends and direct family, who are LGBT, and I love them too much to condemn their actions. Some of my gay friends were the MAIN ones to support my Mormon temple marriage and what I chose to do...how do I, in good conscience, take away what THEY believe in, just 'cause I feel differently? I'm sorry to go on a rant on here, but I have been afraid to say this for a long time b/c of what my Mormon friends would say, but I'm not afraid anymore. I am a Mormon, I believe in the tenets of my church, but I also believe in not taking away the rights of others, and I will never actively choose to hurt or condemn a community that has been so willing and accepting of me and what I believe, even when it is contrary to what I might feel."
Another person made a comment saying they didn't feel it was the school system's place to teach the concept of character, and that it is the family's job. I did make mention that some children don't have good families to rely on (look at the school shooting in Chardon, Oh. a few days ago; that child had a father in prison), and that the school can function as a family for some students, and referenced a few examples from my teaching career.
This woman started picking apart my thoughts, and I found myself picking apart hers. It got quite heated, and when I tried to bow out and said I was done talking, the woman said that it was because she was right, and I couldn't beat her, which set me off. This woman was a very stereotypical Mormon, a bajillion kids, and stuff on her profile referencing how Christ-like she is, and I made a very mean comment about how exactly NOT Christ-like she was, and it went downhill from there. She did insult me first, but I started laying it on.
By the end of it, insult after insult, I found myself shaking, with tears in my eyes. I was livid, hurt, this woman was everything I hated about Mormon stereotypes, and yet, I realized........I was stooping to her level.
So, I apologized to my friend who posted the article, apologized to the woman I was arguing with, and removed the derogatory comments, while leaving up what I believed in. I was insulted mercilessly yet again, and I simply blocked her. I couldn't take it anymore.
It dawned on me...you can't discuss love and tolerance and be hateful in your heart. I made apologies to those involved, and posted about the discussion, and my thoughts on gay rights' issues on my own page, and SUCH a wonderful discussion has taken place that has made my heart so happy. For years, I have felt like I was doing something wrong for supporting gay marriage, even going to one of my Bishops in fear I was erring (he assured me my thoughts were OK, and that I was still a good church member). And to get slammed so badly for believing that bullying is not OK in any situation, and that I felt, as a teacher, I should help my students develop character...I just didn't understand it. But, MY reaction was not any better, and I have done what I can to remedy it.
The lessons learned? I'm not alone in my beliefs. It's OK to stand up for something you feel is right. It is NOT OK to be nasty to someone just to get a point across; the more you have to fight a different opinion, the less secure you are in your own, and it made me realize I don't need to be "right" with everyone else to feel "right" in my heart about something. And I am proud of myself for taking a stand that I have been afraid to say for years now. I am grateful such a positive secondary discussion has resulted from this. I hope it continues.
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