Maybe I'm Not Supermom, But....

I worked the daycare circuit when I was in college.  By the time I was done, after multiple locations, I felt like I had raised half of the preschool age children in my town.  I could change a diaper in about a minute flat, could dress 15 little ones in 15 minutes--I was good.
I thought I was going to be the Best. Mom. Ever.
And then...I had kids.  And then there was colic, acid reflux, sleepless nights, crying fests while in the car, tantrums, sickness, appointments, play dates, teething...all of the usual suspects when it comes to parenting. 
Suddenly, I felt like the wind had been knocked out of my sails.  I couldn't understand what happened, how I lost my child care groove so quickly. 
I sometimes feel like I am so limited by having children, but I have realized that all of these years, through post-partum depression, anxiety, fear, self-consciousness, it hasn't been the kids who have kept me limited.  It has been myself. 
And honestly, I'm tired of it.  I'm tired of worrying so much, of losing my patience, of feeling like I have to be a super mom who has it all together all of the time.  Do you know I never singlehandedly take my children out of town?  Very rarely do I take them to the park.  Taking them to the library on my own terrifies me.  I struggle to clean unless the kids are at my in-laws a mile away.
No more.  I am losing so much time with my children living in fear, self-doubt, and lack of patience.  We are going to go out and have FUN.  I am going to relish being a mother, love my children, and be what I have always wanted to be for my kids as a mother.
Yesterday, while Goob stayed with my parents an hour away, I took Bean out and about--we visited an organic farm about 45 minutes away, snagged organic salad greens and leeks for $7, took some donations to the animal shelter, went grocery shopping, and you know what?  Everything was fine.  Bean woke up for two hours during the night, and while frustrating, we survived.  Today, the kids and I went to a pick-your-own farm and picked 4.5 lbs. of berries for $6.  Sure, the baby was fussy, sure it was hard work, and sure Goob kept picking green berries to spite me when I told him to stay close, but we did it, and we made some memories along the way. 
It's not easy.  I'm very exhausted from a long night and wrangling the kiddos at the farm.  Goob is testing my patience something fierce today, but we make it.  We do the best we can, and we make it day by day. 

Our spoils from the day.