I have been struggling some with the fact that breastfeeding just simply did not work out for The Bean and me. I didn't get the chance to nurse The Goob due to medication, and I was so anxious to nurse The Bean. I bought books, supplies, pads, bras, a Boppy, covers...you name it. I researched, I daydreamed...I was so excited.
But, thanks to latch issues and the fact that my little girl thrived on soy formula, and not my breast milk or milk-based formula, we were bottle feeding exclusively after only a couple of weeks. And I was so heartbroken. You hear all the time that "breast is best," and bottle-feeding moms are constantly condemned/criticized, and not to mention, those few successful nursing moments were OH SO WONDERFUL, and yeah, I was bummed. Not to mention, a pal had her baby close to mine and was struggling with similar issues, and it ended up working out for them, and I endured her endless nursing updates on Facebook every two seconds, so my news feed was glutted with all of these success stories, and I felt like SUCH a failure.
I have been doing better, but have had my moments, and today, while giving my Bean a bottle, I looked down at her reflux-y self, and she slurped a few, looked at me, and just grinned--so unbelievably happy and content, and you know what? I knew in my heart I did what was best for my little girl, even if it wasn't what I wanted, or what others thought was best. It was a precious moment, and I cherish that smile today. Sometimes, even when they can't speak, little ones can say so much.
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